Pros and … cons?

“So.  Rain on lenses must be a ‘con’ of glasses wearing, right?”

Apparently, I look ridiculous with drops of water on my lenses.  I also look ridiculous in the aftermath of sudden temperature changes, in which my lens decide to be opaque with steam for a bit.  My dear friend, who said the above quote, took the opportunity to laugh at my expense in both instances.  I grumbled, wiped my lenses on my HIGHLY FASHIONABLE DRESS, and dragged her into a kitchen shop to lust after Le Creuset.  Damn. Those pots and pans are sexy.

At that moment, however, I was more concerned with my legs and feet.  My entire outfit matched the color scheme of my glasses (black, grey, blue).  But I had chosen fashion over comfort: thin tights and ballet flats were all I had to combat the freezing rain and slush/sleet/ew gross coming down from the sky.  Needless to say,  I wasn’t thinking about the BFFs of my eyeballs very much.  Whatever, I was more on trend than she was.  HAH. So there.

***

Driving home, in the dark, my friend was having problems.  She couldn’t see very well – I was reading street signs for her, pointing out stopping lines, and generally reveling in my superior eyesight.

“So. Do they make glasses for night vision?” she asked.

After I stopped gleefully yelling about night vision goggles, I told her that my Dad’s poor night vision was the first sign that he needed glasses.

“Maybe you’ll need them, too.”   I’m pretty sure she could here the self-satisfaction oozing from that.

I probably should have given her my optometrist’s business card, which I carry around in my purse.

***

And now, since we think you guys are getting away with too much happiness in your lives, here is the first part of “Glasses: The Cons.” We’re not going to do a list of “Pros,” because they’re pretty much obvious.

Con: Rain.
It’s true.   This one’s kind of the silent killer.  The drops on the lenses LOOK ridiculous, but they don’t really obscure vision more than the rain falling from the sky and ruining it for everyone else.  I saw a Looney Tunes cartoon as a kid in which one of the characters starts to cry and the eyes get cleared out by mini wipers.   While looking for that clip, I found this.
WARNING: THIS IS A CONTACT LENSES COMPANY’S AD. WATCH AT YOUR OWN RISK.

To some, that might seem like a good reason to switch to Those Which Shall Not Be Named Again. But here at JWG, we fully endorse this supremely jerky, if imaginary, product. We’d totally walk down the street moving our necks like pigeons.  If anyone invents these for real and needs some spokesladies, we’re all up on it.

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~ by jerkswithglasses on January 18, 2010.

3 Responses to “Pros and … cons?”

  1. I guess you were more trendy, except when I had to use my unencumbered-by-droplets eyeballs to delineate the differences between brands. We would have been crippled by your brand innocence. (Does using “crippled” make me a jerk too?)

  2. Good try, Wifey. But you’ll have to wait until your eyeballs get like mine before you earn the “Jerk” designation.

  3. […] about sudden shifts in temperature or humidity?” they […]

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