For Some of Us, Glasses are a Professional Accessory

Here’s another chance for all of you to get to know our board. This will make you better. Promise.

From libliz:

Just shush, would you?

Just shush, would you?

Glasses are a valuable accessory in my profession. I work in a library where I deal with jerks who don’t wear glasses. And boy, do they need them, at least to appear intelligent. I know (and take comfort in the fact) that all you jerks out there have been glared at by a someone who works in a library. You know the withering “over the glasses” glare, right? Hell yes, you do. You’ve probably seen it so many times that you dream about it, so I don’t have to tell you how frightening it is. What you may not know is how good it feels. It’s a high all its own, right up there with shushing noisy people.
When someone visits the library, their interactions with me go something* like this:

Patron: “My professor sent me here to get a book. I don’t remember the name of it but it’s about birds.”

Me: “Well, I’m going to need something more than just the subject. Do you know the author?”

Patron: “No, but I think the book is red.”

Me, sighing: “Well, let me show you how to use the online catalog…you can narrow your search, but it would be helpful to know at least a title or author…”

When I first started working at the library, I’d blatantly stare at people when they made statements like this, thinking, Really, you don’t even know the title, just that it’s red?


Now, it’s completely plausible. I don’t expect people to know anything when they walk through the security gates. When presented with people who have no understanding of how libraries work, or how books even work, for that matter, even without meaning to, I raise my eyebrows and my glasses just slide down the bridge of my nose as though that’s where they were meant to be. It makes me feel as though I’m making a really important point. And that point is: You are stupid. How have you gone this long without understanding how the library works? Were you absent during all of first grade?? How did you get into college?

A student said this to me last week:
“I have the book – can I renew it? The book about sports?” “What’s your name?” “Kimberly.**” “What’s your last name?”

Arrrgh. This is what I deal with every day. I think I deserve to do a little eyerolling & over the glasses glaring. You’d do it too, I guarantee it. Who are you to judge me?

Remember, Jerks with (and especially without) Glasses: when you visit the library, we don’t glare at you because we have to, we do it because we can. Make no mistake, we enjoy it. We’re jerks, we wear glasses and we know how to categorize books.

Deal with it and bring your materials back on time, jerks!!

*Circumstances changed slightly but I swear that someone really did ask for “The red book” once.

**Not her real name


~ by likebadlovesongs on September 18, 2009.

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