Kanye West, Explained

SOME board members get to sit on their asses all day long while their assistants pick money off trees and the staff does all the REAL work.  Here at Jerks with Glasses, we don’t let our board members get away with that kind of laziness. In this, his debut piece for JWG, Eric Danton, Esq., tells us a thing or two about this jerk:

This jerk wants everyone to see his glasses.

This jerk wants everyone to see his glasses.

Here’s the thing about Kanye West: He doesn’t owe you any explanations.

Who do you think you are, an awards-show judge?

Yes, Kanye can act like a jerk. Sometimes he wears glasses.

Like most rappers and celebrities, he often wears sunglasses (or, in the parlance of Jay-Z, “sunnies”). Maybe they’re prescription shades, and maybe they’re not — what am I, his goddamn optometrist? Regardless, he wears them for the usual reason celebrities, and douchebags in dance clubs, wear sunglasses: it’s a status thing. Also, it affords them a measure of privacy from your prying eyes, you starfucker. Can’t you just give them some space?

What sets Kanye apart is that he also wears glasses that stress form over function, to an extreme degree. Take, for example, the white shutter shades he wore in the video for “Stronger,” and at that stupid concert about saving the planet by burning a bunch of fossil fuels to hold a concert about saving the planet. Live Earth or something.
Not only do those frames look totally fucking sweet under a black light, there’s an extremely good chance he can’t see through them well enough to even give the barest hint of a shit that you’re there, watching, marveling, craving an explanation.

As if you can explain the creative process that leads to making a fashion statement. It just happens. Elvis Presley knew it. Elvis Costello knows it, too, and so does Kanye, whether he’s wearing useless glasses or repurposing Daft Punk beats. (Or both at once. Let’s see you do that.)

After all, this is a rapper who wears argyle, and who landed his first hit by mumbling rhymes with his jaw wired shut after a car accident. So forgive Kanye if he’s too busy living, too busy creating, to indulge your need to sort and label him like so many care packages at camp. He doesn’t have time for that bullshit.

He’s a jerk. With glasses.

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~ by likebadlovesongs on August 20, 2009.

3 Responses to “Kanye West, Explained”

  1. when i think lasik surgery my mind brings up an annoying flashing .gif of kanye.

    how can one be a jerk w/ glasses and be the avatar for lasik?

    real jerks w/ glasses have vision problems, not a fashion faux pas that resemble glasses.

  2. i love yhur glasses they are so cute

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