If a Jerk With Glasses Ceases to have Glasses, Will She Cease to be a Jerk?

Here at JWG we’re all for stupid existential queries. Obviously.

So, I’ve got one for you.

When I was in middle school – this was 7th grade or so – I was changing for gym class. I was new to the whole sports bra thing at that point, so it took some wrestling to get it on. I come from a family of modest means and I was VERY AWARE of the expense of my glasses. So, not wanting to mess them up, I took them off for the epic sports bra fight. What do you think happened?

That’s right. Sarah Lebon (name changed) sat on my f-ing glasses. SAT ON THEM.

And what do you think she did when she realized what had happened? She giggled nervously and smoothed her shorts. No apology or anything.

Now, it’s really hard to glare at people when they are vague, fuzzy blotches at some indistinct point in your field of vision. Had I been able to see her, I’m sure the glare would have had its desired effect. But, as it was, she just kind of waddled away leaving me speechless and blind.

Thanks, Sarah Lebon (name changed).

So, but here’s the stupid existential question. In that moment of blindness, half dressed for gym, attempting to stare down That Girl, I was not presenting as a jerk, but I certainly would have been if I could figure out how to do it with dignity. What I want to know is this: is our jerkiness an inherent trait, or do we don it like our specs?


~ by likebadlovesongs on July 27, 2009.

4 Responses to “If a Jerk With Glasses Ceases to have Glasses, Will She Cease to be a Jerk?”

  1. You were a jerk. You bottled it up inside until you started contributing to a glasses-based blog.

  2. assuming the transitive property here is wrong. also assuming = jerky behavior.
    jerks do not transform, they do not burst out of their pupae changed, though their glasses may be a bit askew.

    now for my own jerk with glasses moment:
    hey, i wear glasses because i can not see. so what is with this whole black background???
    does the whole jerk thing mean than the web interface must be overtly jerkish as well?
    seriously effing with my ability to read.
    i bet you laugh at color blind folks too…

    • 1) my boyfriend is colorblind, and yes, I do laugh at him because of it.
      2) what are you talking about? Tiny white text on a black background = the shit.

  3. smoothed her shorts… she just smoothed her shorts… there’s gotta be a word for jerks without glasses

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